What I Learned From SELF Made Millionaires

I hear laughter and high-pitched screams.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see three of our retreat attendees going into the pool, fully clothed, riding a unicorn. 😂

Did I mention the unicorn started deflating underneath them right as they hit the water?

And that was just one of the highlights where my business partner and I hosted 25 self made badass entrepreneurs that are crushing it in business and in life.

They have their dream lives with their dream partners and do work that makes them feel alive.

And, they know how to have a good time!

The Unicorn Club is an invite only network where the world’s most successful self made women entrepreneurs come to connect, collaborate, and cultivate the confidence to not apologize for their greatness.

It’s a vibe.

Collectively, these women have made billions of dollars. They are some of the most successful people in the TV industry, fitness, finance, crypto, coaching, publicity, and so much more. I love spending time with them!

As I was reflecting back over the weekend, I realized I had four big takeaways.

I told you about the first one… have more fun! (Are you doing it? Tell the truth!)

So today, I wanted to hit you with 3 more things that I learned from SELF Made millionaires and billionaires who love their lives.

(And yes, they are all SELF Made. You don’t get to that level of business and life any other way.)

So… without further adieu, here are those lessons:

You have to let go to move forward.
Sometimes behind the highlight reel is a shit show.
It’s never too late to burn it all down and start over.

I’ll share more about each of these today.

If they serve you, I invite you to pick ONE to focus on for yourSELF today.

And if none of them do, go back and focus on fun. Because heaven knows we could all use more of that!

PS – For those of you who have asked, my dad is still navigating life and his health conditions. But he’s doing ok! In fact, he just celebrated his 70th birthday this past week!

We had quite the scare a few weeks ago, as you might remember, but my dad is a fighter and wasn’t ready to go so… I’m enjoying every moment I have with him and taking it one day at a time.

Some days aren’t so good and those are tough to navigate. It’s a reminder that he won’t be with me forever and sometimes knowing that takes my breath away.

But on the good days, we’re having deep conversations about life, kids, time, dreams, and more and it’s feeding the deepest parts of my soul.

So, that’s the update. Thank you for asking and sending your love.

YOU HAVE TO LET GO TO MOVE FORWARD

The first lesson I was hit with this past weekend was…

“You have to let go to move forward”.

Now, I know this. I’ve even told YOU this!

I usually say something like, “Your new life will cost you your old life.”

But you know how sometimes you can hear, even preach, something for so long and then someone says it back to you in a different way and you’re immediately like… Holy shit! THAT!

Yeah, that’s what happened to me.

Here’s how it went down…

I was talking with a woman who has generated over $100 million dollars in her career. She is the CEO of multiple companies, a best-selling author, and a pioneer in the crypto and NFT world. I know.

So, she’s talking about productivity. Or was it creativity? I didn’t hear her clearly so I asked…

“Did you say productivity or creativity?”

And immediately (IMMEDIATELY) she responds with, “I don’t have to be productive, I’m a Visionary.”

Mic. Dropped. (and rolled all the way into the ocean)

Wowwwwwww. I heard that.

You see, when businesses reach the 7-figure level, they have a Visionary and an Integrator.

They can go by different names but essentially the Visionary casts and holds the vision for where the company is going and the Integrator makes it happen.

That’s a very simplistic definition but you get the idea.

Since way back in the olden days when I was alive (that’s how my daughter refers to “old” people like me) I’ve always played both roles in my companies.

Now, I have an Integrator and she’s amazing. I can step out of that role anytime buttttt… I haven’t. 🙃

Why?

Most of it comes from fear and insecurity that if I’m not in control, things will go sideways.

We might lose money.

We might not reach our goals.

LIES! Those are all just stories. Stories that I’m obviously still rewriting.

Here are the facts:

My Integrator is skilled enough and then some for me to step out of the role altogether.
I am a bottleneck when I try to be the Integrator and it slows down my team and my business.
Staying in my role of a Visionary inspires and motivates my team and the people I’m serving. There is no better place for me to be.

So, what’s keeping me stuck? The story I tell about needing to be in control to feel safe.

This is a big one for me.

You see growing up in my house, things could pop off at any time. BUT, if I could stay in control, talk to my mom and dad and get them on the same page, they didn’t.

In other words, if I could stay in control, I was safe. (Can you relate?)

But, using the Stuck Story Coaching Method that we teach at The Modern Life Coach School, I went back this week and self coached my way through this story. I rewrote it and found evidence to support my new story. It was liberating.

And now, I’m releasing my Identity of “the kind of person who needs to be in control to feel safe”.

I’m releasing my Identity of “the kind of person who needs to stay in the day-to-day to make sure things are done “right””.

And instead, I’m allowing my team, especially my Integrator, to do the things they’re great at. While I do what I’m great at – being the Visionary and showing up to share my gifts with amazing people like YOU.

What do YOU need to let go of to move forward and what is the story holding you back?

And what will you do to take that first step?

If you haven’t taken the Stuck Story Assessment yet and got your free training on how to rewrite the stories that keep you stuck, you can do that here!

EVERYONE DEALS WITH SHIT, BUT HERE’S THE TRICK

The second lesson I learned was…

Sometimes behind the highlight reel is a shit show.

Look… you don’t rise to the level that these women have risen to without a few bumps in the road.

So, one of the days, we hosted a deeply vulnerable discussion called “Welcome to the Shit Show” (which promptly got renamed to “That Sucked, Now What” – If you haven’t read the book by my friend and fellow unicorn, Dr. Neeta Bhushan, you MUST! She’s the gorgeous gal in the photo with me above!)

During this exhale, many of the women talked about the things you don’t see on the highlight reel. Now, things were said in confidence so I’m not going to betray that. But what I will say is that we ALL deal with things that other people don’t know about.

We deal with deception, illness, betrayal, loss, uncertainty, self-doubt, and more.

No one has a bright and sunny life where shit is just amazing all the time. I certainly don’t.

And that’s ok.

You see what I learned during this discussion was that we all go through shit and think we’re the only ones. We’re the only ones who are going through The Shit Show.

But again… this is just a LIE. Just a story we’re telling.

The facts are…

No one has a “perfect” life.
We’re all doing the best we can at any given moment.
What people share the most is the highlight reel and the highlight reel is not the full story.

Everyone deals with shit. The trick is to turn that shit into gold. To let it push you forward instead of holding you back.

And again, you do that by rewriting the stories you tell about it.

You can say, “My life is harder than anyone else’s.” OR you can say, “Because I’ve faced so much, I’m capable of dealing with anything. I know there’s nothing I can’t overcome.”

You can say, “I’m too old to do X.” OR you can say, “I’ve learned so much in my X years of life that will support me in doing everything I want.”

The choice, as always, is yours.

IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO START ALL OVER

And now for the third lesson I learned last weekend…

It’s never too late to burn it all down and start over.

This one was good. I admit I’ve often felt like I have to keep walking the road I started down all those years ago.

That I have to continue doing and being the same way.

I don’t. And neither do you.

One of the women in the group shared the deeply personal story of how she built a fitness empire with her husband but it left her feeling trapped.

She wanted to sell it but thought, “Who am I without it?” Her Identity was keeping her stuck.

She thought… “What would I do? What would I become? How would I make money to live”

The answers, she finally realized, was… “AnyTHING I fucking want. AnyONE I fucking want and “Any WAY I fucking want”.

Again… Mic. Dropped.

Around the same time, she was also going through a divorce. So, when the topic of dividing assets came up, she handed over her entire company, products, and customer list to her soon to be ex-husband.

She just… gave it away!

There was no monetary payout but what she gained in freedom was priceless.

This was her way of just burning it down so she could start over.

And she did. Today she has a super successful business doing what she loves. It’s so inspiring.

While I’m not looking to burn down my business and start over (I love it way too much!), what I am doing is looking at my life as a whole and asking, what do I want to burn to the ground and start over?

And is there anything I want to save from the fire before it goes up in flames.

For example, there are things in my relationship (as sweet as it is) that I’m ready to burn to the ground so I can make it even better.

I’m ready to take my Integrator identity and burn that to the ground so I can fully step into my Visionary role.

And this is just the beginning.

You see, the only thing keeping you stuck in a place you don’t want to be is YOU.

I love you and it’s true. 😘

I invite you to take a look around today and ask yourSELF… “What is ONE thing I want to burn to the ground and start all over?”

I’ll bring the matches.