Why Your Ride or Die Friends are Critical to Being SELF Made

Story time! This Thanksgiving holiday marks 20 years that I’ve been in Los Angeles.

Let me take you back to that time and place…

I had arrived a couple of weeks before, quickly ended up homeless, and had struggled to get myself into a studio apartment so I would have permanent housing.

I had only been there a few days when Thanksgiving rolled around.

Seeing as how I had no real friends and no family that lived close (not that I would have spent time with them if they had been, except for my sister and dad) I was on my own.

Well… not completely.

I had my two cats that I had also brought to LA with me, who were wondering what the hell was happening.

There we were in a completely empty apartment where the heat didn’t work.

There was no furniture so the only place to sit was the hard floor.

The only soft things I had were clothes from two suitcases that I had flown there with and a blanket I had bought at Target.

I was so lonely. I had no internet, no books, and no alcohol to distract or numb me.

So, I sat and I cried. 

Feeling more alone than I had felt in a long time. And I had felt alone a LOT.

After a good cry, I pulled myself together.

My tummy was rumbling from being empty so I decided I needed to find something to eat.

There weren’t a lot of options, with it being Thanksgiving and all, so I got my cheap rental car out of the parking garage and drove down Vine Street to the closest restaurant open for business – McDonald’s.

I’ll never forget it.

I ordered the combo meal #2.

It was two basic cheeseburgers (no pickles), a large fry, and a soda.

I also ordered some ranch dressing on the side for good measure. (You can take the girl out of the South but…)

I drove home, into the parking garage, and up to my empty, one-room apartment.

After I fed the cats (feeling like they were the only thing I had to be grateful for), I sat down on the floor, wrapped up in my blanket to keep warm, propped myself up against the wall and watched a DVD on my laptop while eating the soggy burgers.

That was my first Thanksgiving in the City of Angels.

This is not how I thought it would go.

But I also knew that this was not how my life was going to be.

I was determined I would figure it out and make something of myself.

I decided I would choose my own family and I would never fucking ever eat McDonald’s for Thanksgiving ever again.

And, I kept that promise to mySELF.

This year, Thanksgiving was super chill, no pain, no trauma, and no fast food.

I went to a Friendsgiving the week before (which was amazing!) and it felt right to just settle in and take it easy on Thanksgiving Day.

After realizing it was my 20-year Thanksgivingversary, I spent a lot of time being thankful for…

mySELF.

(You might have seen that coming.)

To be clear… I’d like to thank mySELF…

For showing up (even when I didn’t want to), doing the work, and telling myself a new story – day after day after mother. Fucking. day.

And for creating a life so good I’m only jealous of mySELF.

As you know, I went from broke as a joke to running multi-million dollar businesses, living in my dream homes (yes more than one currently – and yes they have furniture), driving my dream car (no more cheap rentals), and having a family and friends that I would give up everything else for in a hot second (I never, ever feel alone).

AND… there’s not ONE THING about me that is special. 

I need you to hear me on this.

No one gave me the keys to the kingdom (or a nicer apartment). I didn’t have a rich uncle. And I didn’t marry a rich husband who paid my bills.

What I did was DECIDE I would save mySELF. 

I would show up for me.

I would commit to designing the life I wanted and I wouldn’t settle until I had it.

And now… I’ve created a coaching container, a sacred space, where I can support you in doing it too.

Because I would be lying if I said it was easy. (It is FUN tho!)

And, I would be lying if I said it was a “hit it and quit it” kind of process. (It’s not but it IS wildly empowering!)

And, I would REALLY be lying if I said that being SELF Made is doing it all on your own. It’s not.

You see… here’s the real deal…

We all need people surrounding us, lifting us up, having our back when we want to give up.

Sure, we all have to show up and actually do the work – no one can do that for us – but we don’t have to do it alone.

We can do it together.

We can support each other.

Last week I announced the opening of The SELF Made Membership and invited you to take a peek. 

I’ve been thrilled by the people showing up and saying YES to designing a life where they’re rich AF in all the ways that actually matter – together.

I’m going to show you how I completely turned my life around so you can do the same.

Will you join us?

Regardless of how you spent the holiday, I’m guessing that you’re ready for things to be different in 2024.

You want to make more money, enjoy soul-stirring relationships, get your health on point.

You want to become SELF Made.

I like to think of it as going on a road trip (my fave). 

Every epic road trip needs an epic soundtrack, a reliable set of wheels, and, most importantly, the kind of companions who are in for the long haul — your ride or die crew.

These aren’t the folks who are just along for the joyrides; they’re there through the flat tires and the wrong turns too.

They’re essential, not optional.

On the road of changing your life, these are the people who don’t just wave as you drive by.

They fuel up, buckle up, and snuggle up right alongside you. (And they do not let you go through the drive-thru for Thanksgiving.)

And let’s be honest, they make the ride a helluva lot more fun.

When the rubber meets the road, it’s your ride or die crew that makes all the difference.

Today, we’re going to explore YOUR crew.

And if you don’t have one, we’ll create one together.

PS – To my crew in The SELF Made Membership, buckle up… It’s going to be amazing!

You are not alone. We’re in this together.

Not in yet? Details are here.

We’re closing the doors in JUST 4 DAYS (Thursday, November 30, 2023) and when we reopen them sometime next year, rates will DOUBLE.

How to Find Your Ride or Die Friends

Alright, let’s get into it…

When it comes to being SELF Made, having a squad of yes-men/women/humans won’t cut it.

You need the kind of people who aren’t afraid to call you on your own bullshit. 

My ride or dies are like this.

Yes, they love me but they also know what I’m trying to do in this one wild and precious life. So, they hold me accountable.

And I appreciate that.

This isn’t about collecting a fan club; it’s about building a team.

A team that’s in your corner and focused on your goals, even when you aren’t.

So, take a hot minute to think about who’s in your ride or die crew. Picture their faces. Got ’em? Good.

Now, write down one solid gold moment when each one of them proved they’re in it to win it with you.

Next, think of a time when each of them gave you a dose of tough love. How did it spark a change in you? Write that down.

The purpose of this exercise is to create awareness.

It’s not to feel bad about yourself or be disappointed in your crew.

It’s to make a note of who’s onboard and who is missing so you can find those people and bring them in.

For now, just notice what you notice and notice what/who you need.

(SELF Made Members: We’re going to dive into this even more in the first SELF Made Session so stay tuned!)

Let’s keep going.

How Ride or Die Friends Can Support You

Another important role of your ride or die crew is calling out those moments when you’ve got to step back and recharge, so you don’t run out of gas before you get where you’re going.

And I knowwww… we all like to do big things.

AND we also like to do things for others. I see you.

We will push and push and push until there’s nothing left to give ourSELF. I know you know.

This is when your ride or die crew steps in and reminds you to fill up your gas tank.

They’re the ones who take the wheel when you reach the City of Doing Too Much.

Because as much as we like to go hard, sometimes you need to crawl in the backseat and take a nap.

So, today I invite you to identify the people in your crew who will take the wheel.

Write down their names. Make a note of the last time they stepped in to save you from yourSELF.

Keep these people close. You’ll need them further down the road.

How Your Ride or Die Friends Can Make You Rich

I know creating more moolah, more abundance, is on your list for 2024.

And did YOU know that behind every SELF Made mogul is a crew that’s got their back.

Those people who will help you brainstorm offers and tell you when that social media post should have stayed in your head (we’ve all been there).

They’re your soundboard, your sanity, and sometimes, your saving grace.

I surround mySELF with these people and they have changed everything in my business.

I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again, my network is the #1 reason I’ve been so successful.

And no, they didn’t do the work for me and yes, I had to pull my weight and show up in the same way for them, but my life would 100000% NOT look the same if I hadn’t had them.

Who are these people for you?

Think of who helps you brainstorm ideas?

Maybe who gave you advice or made the intro to someone that changed everything?

Or who has told you like it is (and thank goodness they did!)?

And who is missing that you wish you had in your corner?

And now… let’s put it all together…

Who are your ride or dies?

The ones that will push you forward, take the wheel, and help you make those money moves?

And who is missing?

In The SELF Made Membership, we’re going to be all of the above for each other.

Want to join us?

Details are here.