I Don’t Set New Year’s Resolutions. I Ask Myself ONE Question.

It’s New Year’s Eve and I’m waiting for Zak to get off a flight and get home so we can welcome in 2024 together!

This year holds so many big changes for us and I’m beyond excited for them!

I’ll share more as these changes get closer but essentially, we’ll dramatically change how we’ll be living.

To say that we’re both MORE than ready for that is a huge understatement.

We’re completely redefining who we are, who we’re choosing to become, and what we’re choosing to do with our lives.

We couldn’t be happier.

And in case you’re wondering, no, I don’t set new year’s resolutions.

I haven’t done that for years now.

But what I did do is get very clear on what I want in 2024 and who I needed to become in order to have it.

Because as you know, I’m not about DOING rather about BEING. #identitybasedcoaching

I mean… it just makes sense.

I’ll never understand why others insist on doing it the old school way (setting goals, using willpower, failing, trying again, failing, etc.).

Why do that when you can just act as if you’re the person you ultimately want to become today?

But… I digress. The point is…

I’ve spent the last couple of weeks getting clear on the life I no longer wanted to live.

I also got clear on what I wanted my next 10 years to look like. Because I play the long game.

To do that, I asked myself this question… 10 years from now…

“What, specifically, am I interested in accomplishing that requires me to completely change mySELF to accomplish it?”

I know… it’s a big one. And it often makes people feel uncomfortable.

It makes me uncomfortable too.

SELF Made Members, you’ll get to dive deep with me on this concept in our SELF Made Session on January 2 (see your Coaching Campus for details!).

You see, we can all set the typical goals… make more money, lose weight, find the love of my life… but what, specifically do you want to accomplish that requires you to completely change who you are to accomplish it?

Now, you might say… “I don’t want to change who I am, Cynthia”.

And let me be clear… you don’t have to.

The choice, as always, is yours.

But if you’re like me, you’re not interested in mediocrity.

You’re not interested in “good enough”.

Not when you know you’re meant for more!

But I’m not here to make you dream big or want more. That part is up to you.

I’m here for the people who are ready to blow the doors off their future.

For the people who say… “fuck it, why not?”

I’ll dive into other ways you can think about setting big goals in today’s SELF Made Sunday.

We’ll look at how you can dream so big that you’re a little embarrassed to admit those dreams are even yours!

Ready?

Let’s do this!

Don’t Set New Year’s Resolutions When You Can Ask THIS Question Instead

Ok… so let’s get back to that question that left you feeling like you wanted to stop reading (if you didn’t, in fact, stop reading)…

“What, specifically, am I interested in accomplishing that requires me to completely change mySELF to accomplish it?”

And remember, we’re dealing with a 10 year timeline here so dream big!

 Here’s another way to ask that…

“What are you NOT committed to, only because you don’t believe you can do it?”

Or…

“What would you commit to if you knew you could do it?

Easier to wrap your head around?

Once you have your answer to one of those last two questions, you’ll have your answer to the first.

For example, if your answer to the last two questions is, “Having a $5 million/year business,” then that’s also the answer to the first question I asked you… Remember? It was…

“What, specifically, am I interested in accomplishing that requires me to completely change mySELF to accomplish it?

Because, if that was your answer, then my guess is that creating a $5 million/year business would require you to completely change who you BE to accomplish it.

Am I right?

And maybe your goal is $10 million/year or $100 million/year. Doesn’t matter as long as the answer is true to you.

Listen… you aren’t here to set goals that you can just work a little harder and reach.

No.

You’re here to do things that make you uncomfortable. That challenge you. That see what you’re made of.

You’re here to play the game while rewriting the rules.

And you’re here to look forward to all of it.

So, let me ask you that same question in yet one more way just so you can make SURE to get clarity on exactly what it is that you want out of this one precious life…

“What’s worth accomplishing – so much so that it would be worth completely changing yourSELF for?”

 If it’s the same answer as before, that’s your answer.

For me, it’s creating a $1 billion empire centered around possibility and personal transformation so I can BE the woman that my daughter looks up to. (I say more about the details of this below… stay tuned)

And, I know. It blows my mind too.

Does it scare the shit out of me? Yep.

Do I feel embarrassed even writing that down because I know now that I have to do it and I have NO idea HOW I’ll ACTUALLY do it?

You better believe it.

But… I also know that I don’t have to know the “how”. I just have to know the “who”.

And then I get to show up and BE that person every single day.

I take the actions that person would take, no matter what.

I also know that people have done it before me and if they figured it out, I can figure it out too.

Why not?

Now, remember, this is my 10-year goal and yes, it’s big and scary and seemingly completely impossible. But I’m gonna go for it anyway.

I’m going to show up and act as if it’s already happened.

I’ll set my 2024 goals based on that goal and then I’ll get to work.

I’ll look at who I will need to become THIS year to reach that goal in 10 years.

More on that in the next section!

For now, remember, every accomplished dream starts with clarity around what it is so you can be the person who achieves it.

What is that dream for you and who will you become in order to reach it?

When You Don’t Set New Year’s Resolutions, You Actually Embrace SELF Care

When it comes to SELF Care and setting goals for the new year and beyond, there’s an idea from the original question I want to address.

Remember, the question was…

“What, specifically, am I interested in accomplishing that requires me to completely change mySELF to accomplish it?”

So, about that whole, “completely change mySELF”.

I want to be clear that I’m not talking about ditching the amazing parts of yourSELF. The parts that you love and others do too.

But rather, I’m talking about being MORE of who you are.

Changing from playing small and hiding your gifts to sharing them with the world, loud and proud.

You see, your big dreams require ALL of you.

They require MORE of YOU.

They require your future SELF.

It’s not about re-inventing yourSELF. 

It’s about re-identifying yourSELF.

Meaning…

Re-identifying is an exciting and transformative process where you shed your past and current identity and embrace a new one. ✨

This process is deeply personal and life-changing. It’s a journey of self-discovery and self-creation and it’s the most empowering thing you’ll ever do.

Using the “$5 million/year” example above, you’ll step into the shoes of someone who “has a $5 million/year business.

And with everything you do, you’ll ask yourSELF another powerful question…

“How would the person I want to be do the thing I’m about to do?”

 And then you’ll act accordingly.

You might even say…

“How would the $5 million/year business owner version of me do this?”

And again, act accordingly.

Because the future version of YOU is YOU just amplified.

YOU as your highest SELF.

You, re-identified!

Ask yourSELF, what one trait of yourSELF can you amplify even more to re-identify as your Future Self?

For me, and my big Unapologetic Goal, I’ll embrace the identity of someone who fiercely protects her time so I can build a strong personal brand based on unapologetic authenticity through creating and sharing content that serves.

That’s who I am choosing to BE so now my actions can reflect that.

I’ll be the kind of person who:

• Says no any opportunities that don’t align with my future self
• Establishes a content creation machine (in progress, more to come!)
• Focuses on my health so I have the energy I need to do the work
• Connects and collaborates more
• Works more ON my business and less IN my business
• Trusts my team to take the lead so I can stay in my Zone of Genius

You get the idea.

What does this look like for you?

Don’t Set New Year’s Resolutions When You Can Use The 80/20 Rule Instead

Part of “changing yourSELF”, aka re-identifying, is cutting away the things you’re doing that no longer serve your future.

It’s the 80/20 rule. (aka the Pareto Principle)

You see, 80% of what you’re doing now won’t get you to where you want to go.

It won’t help you reach your big goals – in 2024 or beyond.

In fact, only 20% of the things you’re doing right now serve your Future Self.

It’s up to you to identify what those things are and let the other things go.

And no, this isn’t easy.

It’s something I’ve struggled with myself. I still do. But I’m getting better and better.

In fact, I made some changes in my business just last year that will get me more out of the day-to-day and more focused on my 20%.

Now, I’ll be responsible for holding mySELF to that.

Once you get clear on what your goal is – for 2024 and beyond – you’ll need to look closely at what you’re spending your time on.

Is it part of the 20% or he 80%?

And you must edit ruthlessly.

You must edit things you do, what you spend your time on, people you surround yourself with, and more.

Your new life will cost you your old life.

I know, that last part can be tough for me too.

But that’s when your “why” comes into play.

If you remember before, my answer to this question:

“What’s worth accomplishing – so much so that it would be worth completely changing yourSELF for?”

 Was…

Creating a $1 billion empire centered around possibility and personal transformation so I can BE the woman that my daughter looks up to.

Did you see my why?

My “why” is “so I can BE the woman that my daughter looks up to”.

You see… It’s not about the monetary goal to impress her. That’s for me.

I just know the kind of person I’ll need to BE in order to reach that goal and that’s the kind of example I want to set for her.

My goal is that she has many people to look up to AND I’d like to be one of them.

As Victor Frankl said in “Man’s Search for Meaning,”

“He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.”

So…. What’s your big goal for 2024 and beyond?

What’s worth accomplishing – so much so that it would be worth completely changing yourSELF for?

And why?

Once you have those pieces of the puzzle, you get to work on the 80/20 through re-identifying.

And then, you show the fuck up.