How to Turn Your Grief Into Powerful Self Care Practices

 

This week has been one of the toughest of my life.

Rain and I traveled to see my dad, who you already know if you’ve been a part of my community for a while, is in his last stages of dementia.

It was so nice to see him. To hug him. To tell him I love him.

I got to make him laugh. See him smile. Hear his stories.

Leaving him for the last time before we flew home was so, so hard.

The raw, agonizing pain I felt can’t be put into words.

I am learning to navigate what this life transition means to me and even though I have ALL the tools…

This is a mind fuck.

AND… I will be ok. Things will be ok.

I don’t know when or how but I rest in that place of knowing.

Because it’s the only time and space I feel peace.

I don’t know what my life will look like on the other side of this but what I do know is that it will look different.

You see, these moments in our lives… they define us.

They give us a window in time to look at our lives and what really matters.

They show us the harsh truth of this one precious life which is… it will eventually end.

For me, you, and everyone we know.

And while we may not like to think about that (for obvious reasons, hi) it forces us to wake the fuck up.

To decide if the way we spend our days is the way we would spend them if we REALLY understood how limited they are.

As my late teacher, Ram Dass, said, “Death is an incredible opportunity to awaken.”

Let’s wake up, together.

PS – I don’t often talk about holidays because to be quite honest, I don’t like to celebrate them for a myriad of reasons I’ll share another time. AND… today is Father’s Day. It hits different this year.

So, to all the dads out there, mine included, who have made someone’s world bigger, brighter, and better, I honor you and I and celebrate you.

 

LIFE IS SHORT … MAKE EVERY MOMENT COUNT

Have you ever heard the Latin phrase, “Memento mori”?

Loosely translated, it means “remember you will die”. I know, but go with it for a minute.

You see, when we really understand that our time on this Earth is limited, it’s a wake-up call. It jolts us out of autopilot mode and makes us question what we’re doing with our lives.

Memento mori encourages us to live with purpose, to cherish our relationships, and to focus on the things that bring us genuine joy and fulfillment.

It shifts our focus from the petty little things that don’t matter to the stuff that truly counts.

It helps us let go of grudges, shed unnecessary baggage, and zero in on what makes us feel alive.

It’s like a spotlight on our true selves and what we value most.

Memento mori can inspire us to live authentically, not give a tiny mousefuck what other people think, and make every moment count.

Let’s remember our mortality, not to bring us down, but to light a fire within us.

A fire that pushes us to live a life that’s so good we’re only jealous of ourselves.

You in?

 

EMBRACE THE PROCESS OF GRIEF

Grief, mourning, and loss comes in many different kinds of packages.

You could be mourning a relationship, a lost opportunity, your past SELF, kiddos moving out and on, a career, and so much more.

While grief can be overwhelming and painful, it also presents an opportunity for personal growth and self care. Wild, I know but it’s true.

Here’s a few ways you can turn your grief into powerful self care practices:

1. Honor Your Emotions:

Allowing ourselves to fully experience our grief is an act of self care.

When we suppress or deny our emotions through numbing or some other mechanism, it can wreak havoc on our mental and physical health.

Instead, practice being compassionate and treating yourself with kindness and understanding.

For me, I’m honoring every single feeling I have – pain, despair, desperation, fear, anger, you name it. I’m not judging it. I’m just letting it serve as a messenger and hearing what these emotions have come to share.

2. Go Feed Yourself:

During times of grief, it is crucial to take care of yourself physically, mentally, and spiritually. This is the art and practice of Transformational Nutrition.

Feed yourself what you’re REALLY hungry for, engage in activities that bring you comfort and solace. Things like spending time in nature, practicing meditation or mindfulness, engaging in creative pursuits, or physical exercise/movement.

I’m focused on taking my supplements, eating well, and moving my body daily. I’m also spending a lot of time in meditation and being with nature. Oh, and I’ve started painting again. I’ll share more on this soon.

3. Get Support:

Grief can feel isolating, like no one could possibly understand what you’re going through. But that’s just a story. You don’t have to navigate it alone.

Seeking support from loved ones, friends, a coach, or a support group can be an essential part of self care. It can help provide comfort, validation, and a sense of community when you need it most.

Remember, you are not alone and you’ve got this!

 

HOW GRIEF CAN BE A TRANSFORMATIVE FORCE

When we think of success, grief and mourning may not be the first things that come to mind.

Fair.

However, by embracing these emotions, we can unlock a path to powerful growth and achievement.

Here’s how:

1. We Get Clear.

When we face loss, we begin to reflect on our own existence and priorities. We start to get clear on what really matters to us. Using this new clarity, we can start to take actions toward goals that matter, which sets us up for success and fulfillment.

2. We Become Stronger.

Often our darkest moments can lead to our greatest strengths. We discover how to deal with adversity and bounce back from what life throws at us. These traits are essential for success.

3. We Take Action.

Loss has a way of reminding us of the importance of making the most of every moment. We begin to seize opportunities and do that thing we’ve been putting off. This new sense of urgency can fuel our drive to succeed while making the most of our time and talents.