How I Built Unshakable Confidence Using Identity-Based Coaching

How the heck are you?

I’m sipping a piping hot Americano, staring out the window as a bunny hops around without a care in the world.

Life is good.

This week flew by for some reason!

We’ve enjoyed some amazing dinners at home, game nights, and watched the last episode of Only Murders in the Building.

Zak is thoroughly enjoying the new pizza oven I got him for his birthday and I have to say… this is the only pizza I want to eat now!

We got the Ooni Karu 16 Multi-Fuel Outdoor Pizza Oven and it’s a dream!

Our kittens, Bogie and Ollie, continue to grow and we fall more in love with them every day.

Rain is crushing it in school and I couldn’t be more proud of her.

This week, I sent her a text message that said…

“I love your sweet face baby!!!! You’re the best!!!”

And this child’s response was this…

“Thank you! I know!” 

She does not lack in confidence.

In fact, she never has.

And I love that for her so much.

I did NOT feel that way growing up and honestly, didn’t feel that way until much later in life.

These days, I stand in my power and feel confident AF.

In fact, it’s one of the things I get asked about the most.

So, today, I thought I would share with you how I did it.

And how I’ve taught Rain to do it.

So that ideally… you can do it too!

It’s not as hard as you might think.

Keep reading and I’ll tell you everything!

Love your face!

Cynthia

How I Became Confident With Identity-Based Coaching

I’m often asked… “How are you so confident?”

And the truth is… it has taken me a LONG time to feel confident in my own skin.

Growing up, I didn’t exactly have a anything to feel confident about.

I lived in a small shack with no running water, used an outhouse until I was 15, and often wore dirty clothes.

Kids teased me for being poor, for things I couldn’t control.

And yes, it hurt. A lot. But I refused to let that be my forever story.

I knew I was meant for something bigger.

I decided I would become the person who lived a better life.

So, I started something that would eventually become the foundation of Identity-Based Coaching (even though I didn’t know it at the time).

Now, I didn’t have role models or mentors, but I had an imagination.

And I used it like bees use flowers for honey.

I imagined myself as a woman who lived in a big city, worked for herself, had a beautiful home, financial security, and a loving family – even though NOTHING in my life made that a possibility.

And every single day, I acted as if I was already that person.

I asked myself, “What would she do in this situation?” and then I did that.

Was it easy? No.

Did people continue to bully me? Yep.

Did my circumstances change? No.

But I held onto that vision of my future self.

I remained delusional as fuck.

And it worked.

Now, you may have heard that habit change is the key to changing your life.

But here’s what I’ve learned is that it’s so much easier to change your identity than to willpower and white knuckle your way through trying to do things differently.

Studies show that identity-based transformation, where you focus on who you want to become rather than just what you want to achieve, has a lasting impact because it’s rooted in BELIEF, not just BEHAVIOR.

Instead of thinking about what you need to DO differently, start with who you need to BE.

How Identity-Based Coaching Changed Everything

Because I was deeply committed to my new identity, things eventually fell into place.

My actions, decisions, and even my daily habits started to align with the person I was becoming.

And with that, my confidence grew.

I didn’t need validation from anyone, didn’t give a single mousefuck what they said, because I knew I was creating something solid, something real.

And I’ve never looked back.

Now, sure I fell into the “I’m not good enough” and “maybe they’re right” trap from time to time. I’m only human.

But I didn’t stay there.

I would have good cry and wallow around in self pity but I always got back up.

I CHOSE to feel and be different.

So, how can you tap into this for yourSELF?

The same way I did. Start by making a choice.

You can choose to let your circumstances, doubts, or past hold you back.

You can cry, wallow, blame, and shame.

OR… you can choose to step into your future self right now.

You can choose to act as she/he/they would.

Yes. It really is that simple.

Not easy (because the world will try the fuck out of you sometimes). But simple.

Start by getting clear on the identity you want to embody.

Write down everything about who that person is—how they think, act, eat, move, treat themselves, and what they believe is possible.

And then, every day, ask yourself in every moment…

How would the person I want to be do the thing I’m about to do?

Why Identity Beats Habit Change Every Time

The power of Identity-Based Coaching is that it doesn’t rely on willpower or forcing yourself into routines that don’t stick.

It’s not about struggle or “fixing” anything.

Instead, it’s about creating a new you from the inside out.

When you change your identity, your habits naturally follow because you’re no longer trying to act differently—you ARE different.

You can take control of your story and rewrite what’s possible.

You can become your future self today.

Or… not.

The choice, as always, is yours.

The Modern Life Coach School

Do you want to be confident, make more money, and stand out as a Certified Identity-Based Life Coach – in just 4 months!

Imagine what it would be like…

• Enjoy a lifestyle where you aren’t chained to a desk or a schedule (alarm clock optional)
• Be admired and respected while helping others improve their lives.
• Feel confident knowing you can coach ANYONE on ANYTHING while celebrating your $10K, $20K, or more months at a beach club, champagne in hand.

If this feels like a full body fuck yes, then I invite you to check out the Certified Identity-Based Life Coach Program!

The best part of this program is that YOU get to experience your OWN transformation first!

You get to become more confident, deeply integrate the power of identity, and become your future self today!

Check out the details here and decide if it’s right for you.