Your Body Tells You Everything…

Last week, I had this random lower back pain.

And like any type A go-getter who has shit to do, I decided to ignore it. I know.

In the back of my mind, I knew exactly what was happening.

I knew it was the beginning of a UTI.

I haven’t had one in at least a decade, but I used to have them frequently, so I knew the storm that was brewing in my body.

And I thought I could treat it naturally. You know, drink the cranberry juice, take the vitamins, etc.

After a long day of meetings on Monday, I laid down to rest, and that’s when it all hit me.

I’ll spare you the details, but I’ll share this… over the past week, I’ve experienced a fever with hallucinations, back pain all the way up in my shoulder blades, insomnia, nausea, and exhaustion.

I’ve spent at least part, if not all, of every day in bed.

Now here’s the ironic thing… wait for it.

I had several projects that I had set aside this past week to finish. Big “move the needle” projects.

This was going to be THE week I got it all done so I could move on to other things.

It was perfect…

Zak was out of town, and Rain was on her school’s yearly expedition, so I could just focus on me and the work.

It was all going to be SO perfect!

Needless to say… none of those projects are done.

Most haven’t even been started.

You see… I work hard. Harder than anyone I know.

And it’s not that I don’t care for my SELF. I do. In a big way.

In fact, I recently started a 100 Day Challenge where I’m not drinking any alcohol, I’m working out at least every other day, and incorporating many other habits that focus on my overall well-being.

I got this whole self care thing on lock.

That’s why this UTI blindsided me on that random Thursday afternoon.

I’m doing everything “right”.

But am I really?

What is my body trying to tell me?

Looking back… treating this UTI naturally was just me deciding – unconsciously – that I wasn’t worth taking the time to slow down or stop for.

If I could treat it naturally, I wouldn’t have to go to the doctor, pick up antibiotics, etc. I wouldn’t have to stop doing. I wouldn’t have to take time for me.

Crazy, I know.

But remember… I didn’t consciously choose to put myself last.

It came as a result of old, deeply ingrained beliefs and stories.

Stories that I’ve been rewriting since I was a child.

Stories that tell me I don’t matter. That I’m not worth it. That my only worth comes from what I’m doing and have done.

Yes, these stories still raise their ugly heads–even for me, the person who created the Stuck Story Coaching Method and Story-Based Coaching in general.

AND this is why I created it!

Because of my own struggle. Because I know I’m not alone. And because no matter how much work we do, there is still so much we get to do.

“Get” because I can now see this trying past week is a blessing.

It gave me the gift of remembering who I am. Of remembering that I am worthy of time. Of love and patience.

It reminded me that not taking time to care for myself is absurd and unacceptable.

And it gave me an opportunity to look at my work in a completely different way. And I am. More on that in a future blog.

So, today, take the time to ask yourself… what are you not taking and making time for when it comes to your own needs?

What are you putting off dealing with?

And what stories do you need to rewrite to remember that you matter?

That you deserve your own attention?

You’re not alone. We’re in this together.

Cynthia