How To Stop Caring What Other People Think And Just Be You
A new month is here, the last month in fact in 2023.
This past week I wrapped up enrollment for The SELF Made Membership and man… it. Was. Amazing!
If you in, you’re in and if you know, you know.
We are going to tear it up over the next year together and I can NOT WAIT!!! 
We hosted our kickoff party on Friday and when I tell you it was fire… ooooohhhhh you all did not come to play!
I was so inspired hearing your stories and getting to know you on a more personal level. I see you stepping into your Future SELF that you shared and then some!
We laughed and played and cried and decided that we would no longer dim our light, hide in the shadows, or downplay what we really want out of this one precious life.
I’m in awe of every single one of you and can’t wait until our very first SELF Made Session happening on Dec 5! Details are in the Coaching Campus and I’ll send you an email reminder too! [link to coaching campus]
Ok, what else… Oh… right… Dolly.
Did you see Dolly Parton perform at the Super Bowl?
I didn’t watch it live but a friend of mine sent me the video because she knows Dolly is my fairy godmother.
Dolly is causing a STIR!
Some people are cheering her on for wearing a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader outfit which consisted of teeny tiny shorts and a top that showed her tummy at 77 years old.
They think she’s a powerful example of being SELF Made – of doing what you want, when you want, while being WHO you want and not apologizing for it.
They call her “inspiring”, “amazing”, and said she was “killing it”.
Then, there’s the other camp…
The people who says she’s “too old to dress like that” and “should be ashamed of herself”.
Which camp do you fall in?
You probably already know that I fall into the first one.
First of all, Dolly is my fairy godmother and I can only hope to be as successful, charitable, caring, and inspirational as she is.
Second, why are we telling anyone – regardless of their age, fame, or anything else – how they should dress?
Why do we care so much?
You see, when people judge things about other people they are usually just a. highlighting something they either don’t like about themselves or b. they’re jealous and wish they had it too.
And it’s ok if you judge. We all do from time to time. I certainly do!
But also stop to ask yourSELF… why?
Why is it that you’re poked about someone else?
Are you seeing something in them that you actually don’t like about yourSELF (this one can be tricky, dig deep).
Or are you jealous because they have something you don’t? It could be something material, health, opportunities, confidence, etc.
I gotta tell you.
There is SUCH power in choosing to be who you are, unapologetically.
And to go for what you want, unapologetically.
And if others make you jealous or poke you, it’s ok to stop and explore why and then do the SELF work that needs to be done.
Stop Apologizing For Being You
This might be contrary to what you’ve heard before (a lot of what I say is…) but…
When you are who you are and you don’t apologize for it, you make people feel better.
People can look at you being yourSELF with all your flaws and gifts and think, “Wow… if he/she/they can be ok with themselves just as they are, maybe I can too”.
It’s liberating, freeing, and the motherfucking vibe.
Being you, unapologetically, can heal the world.
Because we all have insecurities, yes me too. It’s natural and normal.
But when you can accept those insecurities as part of being human, accept yourSELF just as you are, and work to make yourSELF into who you want to be, that heals you.
When other people see this, it allows them to heal too.
They stop judging themselves for all their shortcomings, inadequacies, and insecurities.
The accept themselves for who they are.
They have less anger, less health issues, are happier and healthier, and stress less.
So when you worry that you’ll offend people or piss them off when you are YOU, know that it’s just the OPPOSITE!
Got it?
Great, so what’s ONE thing that you’re used to hiding from the world that you’re ready to say…. “Nope, not today motherfucker”… and embrace loud and proud?
Maybe it’s sharing how you REALLY feel about something instead of going along to get along or it’s wearing what you REALLY want to wear instead of what’s “appropriate” (even a Dallas Cowboys costume if you’re into it!).
Maybe it’s saying no to spending time with the person because you know you REALLY don’t want to or saying YES to that business opportunity or romantic partner or dream you’ve had for so long now.
Whatever it is, choose one thing and focus on embracing it this week!
Stop Judging Other People and Focus on You
As I just shared… embracing your true self, without apologizing for it is healing.
We often stress over what we should have said. Or how we should have acted.
In addition, we often stress when we judge other people for what they DID say or how they DID act.
Neither of these are healthy. Neither are a form of SELF Care.
In fact… they’re a form of SELF harm.
Judging other people is like drinking poison and hoping they die.
So what if… go with me… you let them be who they want to be and not who you need them to be?
What if you turned your focus to yourSELF and cared for yourSELF in whatever ways you need or want?
What if you let your jealousy and judging tendencies highlight the areas you want to heal in yourSELF so that they become a form of SELF care instead of SELF harm?
The choice, as always, is yours.
How Just Being You Helps Your Business
One of the places I see people struggling to be their truest SELF is in business.
My coaches at ITN and TMLCS will wrestle with this concept sometimes. They will get caught up in a logo, their brand colors, or what to name their business, thinking that this is their personal brand.
Luckily for them, they have me to help.
Here’s the thing…
Today it’s more important than ever to stand out in business. And the way you do that is through your personal brand.
And good branding is just being yourSELF.
Being yourSELF and allowing others to SEE you – the wins and the losses. The ups and the downs. The fact that no matter what, you’re showing up for yourSELF and the people you serve.
Authenticity (true authenticity) is your superpower.
It’s why people will choose to buy your products, your services, your programs.
Being yourSELF is attraction marketing. It will PULL people toward you naturally instead of you trying to hunt them down.
You don’t have to come up with snazzy, jazzy words or be clever about naming your offerings or study marketing like it’s your full-time job.
You can just show up and be YOU!
Because no one can do YOU as well as you can do you.
This is what makes you unique and makes you stand out in a crowded market.
How can you be more of yourSELF to grow your business and boost your income starting today?
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