How I Have A Stress-Free Holiday

We’re hanging out at the house relaxing, and decorating the tree! (I’ll post pics on my IG for you!)

I’m starting to slow down and reflect on the past year, next year, and of course, my Future Self.

I’ve been able to get clarity on where I’m going and who I need to be in order to get there and I’m beyond excited!

As a family, we’ve been connecting on a deep level in our matching holiday pjs.

We’re watching movies, eating good food, and just… breathing. It’s been so nice.

Zak and I are gearing up for a big change next year that will be life changing! More on that later.

Oh… We’ve also been touring high schools for Rain and I can’t even believe this is happening! She was born YESTERDAY! Howwwwww?

And I gotta tell you, these high schools are not the high schools I went to.

Not by a long shot.

Their application process is so wild that I’m pretty sure it would be easier for her to apply to Harvard Law School at this point.

But enough about me… What are you up to?

I’ve heard from a lot of people lately that they’re feeling stressed because of the holidays and I get it.

As the year winds down and the holiday lights twinkle up, there’s an electricity in the air.

We’ll be having a quiet holiday here at home, no travel, no holiday cards, and… no stress.

That’s right! It’s a stress-free holiday for me.

Because I know all too well what that’s like NOT to have that.

You see, several years ago, I realized I was SO tired of the trauma and drama around the holidays.

Buying the “perfect” gifts (then frantically buying more when those didn’t ship in time), dealing with crowds, having to be around family members that tested me on every level, etc. etc. was completely overwhelming.

I felt frazzled and anxious which meant I didn’t even get to enjoy any of it.

And I tried! I would deal with the stress in all the healthy ways I knew – meditation, working out, eating healthy.

But THEN… that ONE person would say the ONE thing and I would reach for the glass of wine, the unhealthy food, and the social medias.

You already know how this holiday movie ends.

All this left me feeling worse because it wasn’t at all who I am. So then, I would judge mySELF and beat mySELF up and feel even worse.

It was awful.

After a particular holiday incident where my flight was delayed, then cancelled, I was done.

I realized that I was doing all these things because I felt like I was EXPECTED to, not because I actually WANTED to.

So, I made a decision right there in the middle of that crowded airport.

I decided that I was no longer willing to participate in activities that didn’t serve me just to please other people.

Nope. Never again. Fuck that noise.

So now? I don’t.

I’ll share some things I’ve used over the years to create my stress-free holiday and make the season enjoyable again.

Remember… YOU are always the author of the story. YOU are the director of your life. And YOU call the shots – always in all ways.

Keep reading for more thoughts, tips, and tools on how to create YOUR stress-free holiday!

How to Set Boundaries for a Stress-Free Holiday

I mentioned that I’ve stopped doing things I don’t want to do just so other people are happy.

And how that is key to my stress-free holiday.

Here’s the thing… You can do that too.

Now, I know what you’re thinking… “Sounds easy for you to say, Cynthia. But you try telling my in-laws we’re not coming for Christmas.”

Listen… hear my words… YOU are the one in control of your life.

And this is the only life you get. If something doesn’t make your limited time on this Earth better, you do. not. have. to. do. it.

That being said… the process of SELF Made is just that… a process. So, let me give you some options because the choice, as always, is yours.

Here are three options:

1. Opt-out. Say thank you but no thank you. You can embrace this motto… fuck the “have to” I’m doing the “want to”.

You can share your honest truth with the intention of protecting your own peace. Allow others to feel how they feel about this and don’t take away their opportunity to learn and grow. Will they be upset? Maybe. Is that your responsibility? Nope.

You see, things happen in our lives and we CHOOSE to feel a certain way about it. If you say, “I’m not coming,” and someone gets upset, that’s THEIR CHOICE.

No one “makes” you feel any way – mad, sad, etc. There’s just an event that happens and we all choose our response.

That being said, their response isn’t about YOU. It’s about THEM.

If it were about you, they would be happy for you to protect your peace. And sure, they might be disappointed or sad but that’s THEIR opportunity to look into why they feel that way and then create their own peace in that moment.

This move can be a very positive one.

And if they choose NOT to find that peace, again… it’s about them not you.

2. Keep doing things to please other people and sacrifice your own peace and happiness. This is where you show up, go through the emotions, and feel frazzled instead of dazzled.

You eat too much, drink too much, and become someone you KNOW you aren’t.

You sacrifice your peace and well-being, endure the back-handed compliments, and drag yourself kicking and screaming through the trauma and drama.

And listen… this option is completely ok. It really is!

If you’re going to take this option, do it intentionally. Know the results this option is going to give you and actively CHOOSE it.

Then… don’t complain and don’t be a victim. Take responsibility for the outcome because it was, and always is, your choice.

If you don’t love the results, know that you can always stop in any moment and do something different. Again, the choice is always yours.

3. Middle of the road it. With this option, you’re not canceling everything and staying home with a box of candy canes and the movie, Elf. Instead, you’re setting boundaries.

Maybe you…

• go to the family gathering but you leave early
• do the shopping but you do it online.
• say “yes” to one or two parties and “no” to the others
• connect with family members but instead of traveling, you Zoom in.
• buy the gifts but you set a budget that doesn’t make you anxious
• attend the event but get an Uber or car service so you don’t have to stress during the drive.

You get the ideas. Boundaries are key to avoiding stress and overwhelm. They’re key to being SELF Made.

They’re key to a stress-free holiday.

Set them in advance (now is good) and stick to them.

What boundaries will YOU set this holiday season?

The Key to My Stress-Free Holiday

When it comes to having a stress-free holiday that’s filled with peace, ease, and joy, self care is a must.

That’s why after that very long day at the airport, I decided to create a Naughty List and a Nice List for mySELF.

I realized that I was doing all these things for everyone else but neglecting the one person who needed care the most – ME!

So, I started with the Naughty List.

I wrote down everything I was doing to mySELF that wasn’t serving me.

It included things like overdrinking, overeating, being quick to judge, being quick to anger, stressing over small things, beating mySELF up, and more.

Then, I made a Nice List.

On this list, I put all the activities that helped me to be nice to mySELF.

I added things like morning reading, meditation, yoga, quiet time, eating healthy, not drinking, buying gifts that were meaningful (and being ok if they arrived late – it’s the thought that counts), taking walks, lighting candles in the evening, saying no, napping, reading books, getting off the socials, laughing more, journaling… you get the idea.

Anytime I felt triggered and wanted to do something on the Naughty List, I took a deep breath, remembered that I was the author of my own life, and chose something from the Nice List.

It was such an eye-opening experience that I now do this every holiday season.

So… what would YOU add to your lists?

They don’t have to be extensive but it’s so important to carve out moments for yourself amidst the hustle and bustle.

Whether it’s a quiet coffee in the morning before the world wakes up, a brisk walk in the crisp winter air, or just some time with a good book, these moments can recharge and rejuvenate you.

They help you become SELF Made.

Give YourSELF the Greatest Gift for A Stress-Free Holiday

Don’t let this stress-free holiday go by without giving yourSELF and your business the greatest gift of all – a new identity!

Find some time between the gifts, the parties, and food to cozy up in a quiet spot and dream.

Ponder these things…

• What do you want to create in your business next year?
• How much money do you want to make?
• Why do you want to make it?
• What do you want people to think of when they see your offerings or your content?

Once you’re clear on what you want to accomplish next year, think about the stories that keep you stuck and then rewrite them to get out of your own way.

Then, Re-identify.

Ask yourSELF these questions…

• Who is this future version of you that has scaled their business successfully and is making more money?
• What daily actions do they take?
• How do they handle setbacks?
• What kind of network do they build?
• What routines do they follow?
• What things do they no longer do?

This process of Re-identifying is about aligning your current identity with the identity of your successful future self.

You see, studies show we’re far more likely to be pulled forward by our vision of the future than pushed forward by our past and present.

This isn’t just about setting goals for the new year; it’s about evolving into the person who has already achieved them.

Once you do, you will behave differently. You will show up in the world differently.

You will make decisions from your new identity which means you will see options you never saw before.

You’ll act “as if” meaning no willpower or drama will be needed to reach your goals.

You can just show up and do what the identity of your future self would do.

It’s so much fun and so much easier to reach your goals and create a life and business so good you’re only jealous of yourSELF!

So… give yourSELF and your future self this gift. You deserve it!